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Being Polite

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keerat2 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 17 February 2012 at 11:05pm

Gurfateh saarya  members nu ,

I try to listen to Veerjis programme everyday and  everyday I learn  a new lesson, a new gem being made aware of and I find myself trying to implement it in my day to day lyf. Out of the numerous valuable points he shares each day, one point I hav noticed he keeps on emphazing  which  ofcourse is the most important point to be worked on - "politeness". To be polite with every person u meet everyday or is a part of ur lyf. Never be harsh with ur words and hurt anybody. My question here or point of discussion is that often while trying to be polite with everybody we find people taking us for granted and start treating us as door mats and hurt our self respect.Often our "politeness" is mistaken with "cowardice". so i just wanna knw dat at what point we need to drop our "politeness" so dat it is not mistaken with "cowardice"......

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Guria Singh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guria Singh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 February 2012 at 1:16pm
@keerat ji... i also agree with u for the same but to few extend...
'coz veerji teaches us to be polite... in the way we must respect everyone, be nice with everyone.
being polite simply develops PATIENCE in onself.... patience helps in holding our emotions and thoughts.....if we r rude or in anger...it leads to distruction of our personality first and temper also cause in distruction of our mental peace, happiness, pain and it is very difficult to hold the burden of anger on mind...... and people who treat us like doormats or takes us for granted....
FROM GURBANI- HAMM NAHI CHANGAE, BURAA NAHI KOAII!!!!
 
for that i will say
BE NICE WITH EVERYONE not because they r nice...BUT BECOZ WE R NICE!!!!!!!
 
 
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hardeep kaur View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hardeep kaur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 February 2012 at 9:05am
fateh keerat jee...
it's true that veerji emphasizes on implementing politeness....its a rabi gun that he shares with all us:" MITHBOLRA JEE HAR SAJAN SUAMI MORA ..."
so if it is a rabi gun and rabi gun dont have conditions like when to follow or when to drop it...
being always polite even keeps us fit too and prevents us from being stressed out...like if we see the other person doing something wrong it's not like that k asi v ohi karan lag jaeiye...
i remember my mom saying" agh nu agh ni paani bhujanda hai..ek niki jehi gal nu second toh v ghat lagda hai wadi houn ch par je asi sameh sir kaabu paa laeiye te boaht kuch sambheya ja sakda hai"...it can be that after watching ur polite nature the other one can too wishes to adapt this rabi gun....flower is flower no matter in whose hand it is...it follows it's law by spreading fragrance everywhere and to evryone even being touched harshly or softly.. 
we should  always be polite without expecting the same from other end ...what is on our control is our own nature....our own way of reacting at situations ..we cant change the other end but can make our self blossom with sweetness....
that's the real art....
hope i hit the posed query....
thanku jeee.....
bhula chuka di khima ...
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Hardeep Singh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hardeep Singh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 February 2012 at 5:32am
Gurufateh Sareyan nu, Keerat ji...what u said is v much true but as replied by Gurpreet ji and Hardeep there is no limit of patience. As per Gurbani 'Nanak fikkey boliye, tan-man fikka hoe' so we have to be sweet and polite without any condition. Though its actually v difficult to practice it 24x7 but practice makes man perfect. I m also trying to implement gurbani in my real life, all the rabbi guns but still learning. Like u i also used to feel a lot the same way, especially in my office that i was polite and my team members used to take me for granted, iused to feel bad that even after following gurbani, ppl r making me fool, taking me for granted, making my fun but it is an old story. Now i dont feel bad abt it becoz i know that i m trying to understand and apply a rabbi gun in my life, dont know abt others so should not expect others to follow the same virtues hence now i feel more comfortable. 
I tried to give my own example to explain ur point better, dont know whether i could give u right answer or not as i participate in such discussions very rarely becoz i m also just learning Godly qualities...
God bless... 
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satvinder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 February 2012 at 10:26am
gurfateh saarya nu,Very well explained by guriaji and hardeepji,you have said it all.Politeness,patience, peace,love,joy are all rabi gun and we being His children have inherited all of these.They are the very nature of our soul.When you inherit something from your Father you don't let go of it, on the contrary you nurture it and cherish it all the more, so the question of how long you need to be polite or patient does not arise at all.But i do understand your point keeratji,sometimes you need to be firm to put forward your point....but trust me with practice you can be polite and firm at the same time, you need not give up your inherent quality.
 
I would like to share a true life experience with you on  how patience nd determination have helped to turn tables in my best frnds marital life.Her  husband was extremely short tempered nd used to get angry on her over trivial matters such as,his shirt not ironed well,food not adequately heated,delay in opening the door when he used to come frm wrk etc.But she was very soft nd patient with him and never reacted to his hot temper and always believed that her patience would one day pay off.Her marriage was just a compromise and was just dragging along.Then the turning point came in,when her husbands boss was replaced by a new boss who happened to be very short tempered.He started getting firing from him on all petty issues.This played on his mind and he started feeling very low and it was then that realization dawned on him that he also has been doing the same with his wife. And frm that day he took up a strong determination that he has to overcome his anger with his wife,and  within days he achieved this.Now they r both leading a good life.So the wife’s patience and the husbands determination both paid off.
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2012 at 12:35am
Great sharing by all....gurbani says Sant na chaade santai, je kotak mile asant...so like everyone said...being polite helps sooner or later...satvinder ji shared her friends example so we cant make an excuse that this is not possible...The tenderness of words can meld even a stone hearted person...Soft nature of a person doesnt mean that they are weak...Nothing is softer than water, but its force can break the strongest rocks....Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote suminder kaur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2012 at 4:54am
Gur fateh to all.....keerat ji..u have raised a very good question and probably many of us have been troubled by the same question at some point of time. Being polite is a godly quality and it does not mean that one is a coward. If a person possesses this quality, he/she should always treasure it rather than getting carried away by  what the other person thinks of you....keerat ji we cannot change anybody....what people have to say about us...probably should be of no importance to us.

For Eg: Being a teacher, i'm polite but at the same time firm in handling my students. I don't get rude with them but my profession requires me to be firm while maintaining discipline in my class....and this really pays off...since the students know that indiscipline of any kind is not allowed in my class...so they are well behaved and the same time give respect too. Politeness is a quality which we need while dealing with our spouse, our in-laws and everybody around us. By being polite we can always strengthen our relationships.....so treasure it always!!!
God Bless U....
"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2012 at 6:06am
Well said jujharji and suminderji Smile .We all have some sort of fear within us that if we are soft spoken and peace loving  no body will take us seriously and we will not achieve our goals.But actually in reality the opposite is true.By being hyper all the time we exhaust our energy which it turn drains the creativity and motivation from our lives We need to change our belief system that 'soft and cool people cannot be super-achievers'
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2012 at 1:08am
Thanks alot Satvinder ji and Suminder ji for your kind contribution...
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keerat2 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote keerat2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2012 at 6:21am

Gurfateh saarya members nu,

Thank you all the kind members there who took the pains and went through my query and replied to it so generously. I am convinced and would try to implement the points I accumulated from this thread.Thanx once again and God Bless.......Smile

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2012 at 11:42am
gurfateh keeratji,
At times we get so carried away by this material world and get so engrossed in performing our so called "duties" that we tend to overlook our inherent qualities ....thanks to you for refreshing them , it has been a good  learning experience for me too. Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2012 at 11:04pm
What a wonderful sharing by all to a worth while question raised by Keerat ji

I feel that even by being hyper we are still taken for granted and people get more reasons to hate us instantly than like us...

But when you combine politeness with
1. patience to listen and understand other persons point of view and
2. curiosity to question and find out why others behave like that,
you feel more comfortable and blessed for being able to use this Rabbi Gun.

Its same as wearing a Kirpan. When you do not know the value, you feel awkward and think what will others think of you, but when you understand the value, you feel comfortable.

Just like it took you time to understand the value, similarly others also require time to understand value.

When someone else forgets to use politeness with me I feel blessed for being able to use it when it was required the most...
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keerat2 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote keerat2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 February 2012 at 6:52am
Thank you Satvinderji and Jaspreetji for your appreciation and contribution......Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 February 2012 at 11:41pm
Keep it up keerat ji...we are glad that sharings from our members hv given u the click...:)
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