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level of Patience

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Amit Kaur View Drop Down
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    Posted: 29February2012 at 1:46am
Sat Sri Akal to LTian family. Sorry for joining so late. I m here again to seek help of my brothers and sisters.
Actually , My frnds husband is very impatient, sometimes hits her, uses abusive language to her in front of others. Sometimes he is caring and supporting too. She sometimes keeps her self mum and some time loses patience. Her in laws support her But she herself is not happy with this type of life. She loves her very much. She always prays to god for peace in their life. Kindly give suggestions.
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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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At office, this is how I understand and handle my bosses

Some events make them angry like you have just touched the heavy electric wire and about to burnt to death, but others are minor electric shocks, it hurts but its bearable...
So your friend need to identify what situations cause her husband to behave in good, very good, bad and very bad of behaviours.

The sooner she does that she will be able to handle him better as she knows in advance how he will behave and her inner conscience will prepare ways to handle the upcoming situation better...

Others are requested to kindly contribute to this topic...
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29February2012 at 12:19pm
Its sad to know that she has to bear these adversities in life...:( Ask her to keep her cool...coz if she looses temper she is in the same game in which he is...she should try to avoid things which irritates him n if he still gets irritated then she should keep calm to avoid the quarrel. Embarrassed  I know its not easy bt if she can do so, she will be atleast at peace.


�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Harjit.Harman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Harjit.Harman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29February2012 at 5:35pm
Its Very Sad To Know About This, But We All Hope That One Day He Will Apology,

I Want Say That He Has His Nature So Suggest Her Whenever He Is In Trouble Or He Needs Help, She Must Go Forward And Help Him To Take Him Out From That Trouble,, Because Sometimes Hum Apni Kosis Kar Ke Thak Jate Hai Par Wo Nahi Samjata, Wo Tab He Samjata Hai Jab Ose Khudh Chot Puhchati Hai Or Wo Fer Koi Sahara Doodta Hai,,,,,,

Till Then Parmatma Ko Yaad Kare, Ham Sub Ki Parathna Aap Ke Saath Hai.
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29February2012 at 11:10pm
Ya I agree with Harjit ji...Kindly go thru this discussion it will surely get u some solution:-

http://www.thelivingtreasure.com/forum/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1751&title=being-polite

Regards

�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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satvinder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01March2012 at 3:08am
gurfateh amitji,
I truly appreciate your concern for your friend and also your putting up her case at the forum as most wives that are abused by thier husbands are either afraid to admit it and even talk about it ,or make excuses for their husbands abusiveness.Well I can think of three distinctive points that she should follow which might help her solve her problem to some extent;
 
1> firstly,whenever he gets angry on her , she should maintain her calm which she most oftenly does as u said and WALK AWAY from there and not get sucked into the abusiveness.At this point don't ever try to reason with him or  try to prove her point, and  most importantly DO NOT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF A REACTION.
 
2>secondly,  she should try and note down the way he treats her in anger and when he is in a good, caring and supportuve mood then she should show him the note.By this  he may feel ashamed of himself for his rash behaviour and start working on his anger.
 
3>lastly an husband who physically assaults his wife is usually going through some sort of mental stress and which should be brought to his notice whenever she gets an opportunity to communicate to him politely that the two of  them should seek counselling together.
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01March2012 at 3:43am
Thanks alot Satvinder ji for your kind contribution....

The best revenge is just moving on and getting over it. Don't give someone the satisfaction of watching you suffer.
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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01March2012 at 4:19am
Great sharing Satvinder ji
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Amit Kaur View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amit Kaur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 1:56am
Thanks for sharing your views. I think this will help her a lot. But sometimes i think that at some time of life if she will feel suffocated and she thinks that this will harm her daughters future she should quit with that person and don't waste precious life like this. After all she too has the right to live happy and not in a compromise.Wink
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 2:13am
I think if the situation was so worst, she could hv moved long back...she stayed so long, that means, she has a hope....lets give her positivity to be strong and belive in herself..lets show her wat she is capable of....and not say to quit....lets try this and hopefully she has a wonderful life ahead....this is wat i think, others to pls contribute....
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Parneet Kaur View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Parneet Kaur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 3:03am
SSA G..amit ji...its sad to hear this ...my advice r rather solution wud be...just do daily ardas...amrit vele...probably...n see hw things change..if we r  sincere n our thoughts too...no negativity can effect....bt we being human all need a peaceful envoirnment for us n our family...so hve faith in urself...n WAHEGURUJI...HE gonna solve yr problem..forever...am sure...bye tc.
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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 3:19am
Ultimately we will have to face all kinds of people in life sooner or later.
Even after divorce, your frnd will need to handle people, may be
she will be doing job and having a troublesome boss
may be she will hear bad words from relatives and society
may be she will have hurdles in taking care of her daughter
may be may be may be
Ultimately she needs to learn how to carry people with firmness and care...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote suminder kaur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 5:51am
The fact is that we have to cope up and learn to live with people of different kinds and always try to put our best efforts and love in retaining all our relationships.....at times although the going might get tough but we have to become tough to get going in life!!!
"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble."
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 5:56am
Well said Jaspreet ji and suminder ji
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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satvinder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 8:34am
Gurfateh to all,
 
 I appreciate the views of all the members that Prayers,Politeness,Patience and Positiveness are all very essential in building any relation. But we should not overlook the fact that one has to be PRACTICAL also.Bearing up with INJUSTICE is no sign of PATIENCE at all.If you are being abused and physically assaulted by your husband then just by sitting back and praying and hoping that one day all will be fine is utter FOOLISHNESS. But ,yes, providing him with proper councelling and/or medical aid  along with your strong Prayers, Positiveness and Faith in God  can surely cure him and put your life back on track.
 
Amitji I would suggest to your frnd that before she takes any stern step she should give a whole heartedly attempt to save her marriage, give her 100% to it(which i m sure she is) by doing all that she can to relieve him of his mental stress , as this will be in the best interest of hers as well as her daughters and also since she has the support of her in-laws , her life can truly become Blissful.
But nevertheless she is in the best position to decide whether this is can be possible or no.We can only give her suggestions and hope the best for her. The final call has to be hers.
 
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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02March2012 at 11:35pm
Thank you Jujhar veer for liking my post.

Great sharing Satvinder ji
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20April2012 at 2:37am
Amit ji kindly let us knw wats the progress in your friends case pls..,
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28June2012 at 12:30am
“We need to learn and embrace patience. Patience is a holy key that will unlock the door to a more fulfilling life. Behind the blessed door of patience are found better parents, powerful teachers, great businessmen, wise masters, and a more compassionate world.”
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote vimal_bagga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18July2012 at 4:51am
Satshriakal Sangat,
                                    Sabh da husband {Kasam }ik khuda,Akalpurakh he ha.Oh kade kisey naal naraz nahi hunda {nirvaer} ne.Ohna nu he apna Pati samjho .Jo aes sharir da Pati ha oh  Lekhan vich likhya ha oh apne karma de hisab naal sanu jeevansathi de roop vich milda ha.Oas nu khidey mathey lao,je oh maada karda ha ohnu samjhao,je bohat jatan karan to baad vi oh tuhanu nahi samjhda ha te oas Akalpurakh da bhana samjhna ha ji,Maada tusi nahi bona ,Maada tusi nahi karna.....Kise to ummeed nahi rakhni,ik ummeed sirf Pati parmeshvar to rakhni,oas da Bhaanaa mann ha,fer chahe oh jo vi deve...Sharir de Pati nu sharir tak rakho,Ohnu Mann utte parbhav na paun devo...Khush raho jo vi ho reha ha changa he ha.Rabb khair kare, rabb bhali kare.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13December2012 at 1:49am
Great post Vimal ji
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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